


Cause for Celebration

by trepkos



Category: Arthur of the Britons
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Character Death, Execution, Jealousy, M/M, Makeup Sex, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-24
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-10-24 07:48:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trepkos/pseuds/trepkos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kai finds out that Goda is a traitor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cause for Celebration

**Author's Note:**

> Set during "Enemies and Lovers" - an alternate ending.
> 
> Thanks to Ideserveyou for beta reading.

The longhouse overflows with laughter and good cheer. The minstrel warbles, courting couples flirt, and games of chance and skill are being played, but Arthur stands alone, watching the revels with a jaundiced eye.

“Come on, Arthur! Why so glum?” Llud gives him an unwelcome slap on the back. “Tonight’s a celebration!”

“And what, exactly, do you think _I_ have to celebrate?” Arthur replies, so only Llud will hear.

“Your brother’s to be wed. _That_ is a cause for celebration.”

“You know that it is not. At least – not for me.”

Arthur looks across at the man who owns him, body and soul, did he but know it; could Arthur but tell him so. But Kai has no eyes for him. This new love, Goda, has Kai’s heart. Their fingers are entwined.

Llud shakes his head. “I’d hoped you’d have grown out of this by now. Thank the gods – it looks as though Kai has.”

Arthur throws his mug down on the floor, and leaves.

~~

He paces outside the longhouse – his own breathing loud in his ears. 

The night is dark: no moon; no stars. Perhaps they have all fallen from the sky.

A short while later, he goes back inside, slamming the door against the wall.

The room goes quiet.

“Kai!” Arthur’s summons brooks no denial – or it should. 

Kai gets to his feet; Llud shakes his head; Arthur sends Llud a look of thunder.

Kai stands looking from one to the other.

Everyone else has turned to Kai, to see what he will do.

“With me, Kai!” Arthur says, more sharply still.

Kai heaves in a breath, and casts a glance at Goda.

Arthur turns to leave – his spine stiffening with every step, until he hears Kai start to make his way across the room.

When they get outside, Kai grabs him by the arm. “What is it you want, Arthur?”

In cool, clipped tones, Arthur replies, “The sentry on the far side of the north ridge needs to be relieved.”

“No. I meant, what do you want from me?”

Arthur feels his face redden. “Nothing. I want you to do your duty, as assigned by me.”

“There must be something else, for you to call me to heel like your errant hound, in front of all the men.” Kai looks him in the eye. “It’s not my turn on watch.”

“I say it is.”

Kai looks at him as if he were the most pathetic thing he’s ever seen, and Arthur wants to slap his handsome face. Instead, he says, “And if you think that slut is going to live in this village –”

“What did you call her?” 

“If you think Goda –”

“ _What_ did you call her?”

Arthur stares at some point to the left of Kai’s head. “She deserts the man to whom she’s betrothed at the drop of … your breeches. What should I call her, but a slut?”

Kai hits him in the face.

The sudden flare of pain brings tears to his eyes; blood streaming from his nose. Arthur drops to his knees. Kai’s never hit him so hard before; hurt him so much before. Nobody ever has, or ever could. 

Kai stares at his fist; abruptly shakes his head. “Is that what you want, Arthur? To fight? Is that what you want from me? For, by the gods, if you call my woman –”

“‘Your woman’?” Arthur mumbles through the bubbling blood. He struggles to his feet. “Listen to yourself. You’ve been with her for the beating of a gnat’s wing, and you’re to be wed. You can’t even remember her name.”

“Aaargh! Will you not grant me one iota of happiness?” Kai turns his back, gesticulating at the heavens. “Have you been put upon this earth just to torment me? You denigrate me, use then reject me, time and again – no reason given. You call me out here on the eve of my wedding –”

“Your wedding is in two days, Kai.”

“Yes …” Kai says. “And that’s how long you’ve got, to change my mind.”

~~

Kai trudges up the ridge.

He’s starting to regret this hasty move. Goda’s a shrew: a bit like Arthur in some ways, though she’s the frying pan, and not the fire. And yet, he may find comfort with her; ease this ache inside, and down below. She gives it up more freely – or she did … 

But what will Arthur do? If he should say, just once: ‘Don’t marry her, Kai. Be with me’, Goda would be forgotten. But Arthur will not – Kai knows, now, that Arthur’s pride won’t let him. Arthur has brought his hell upon himself, as Kai has, his.

Kai reaches the crest of the hill, and picks his way down to the lookout post. 

Colm gets smartly to his feet. “Kai! What’s up?”

“Come to relieve you.”

“Not your turn, is it?”

“Arthur has changed the shifts.” Kai gives away nothing of how he feels about it – so he hopes.

Colm cocks his head. “He’s made you leave your bonny lass all on her own?”

“It can’t be helped.”

“Want me to send her out to join you?”

Kai frowns, considering. It would knock a wheel off Arthur’s wagon, and Goda might keep him warm out here … if she would come. “She won’t know how to find this place.”

“’Course she will. She was here this afternoon, learning about our warnings system.”

“Was she, indeed?” A pulse starts hammering in Kai’s throat. He and Goda have talked for hours, and yet she hasn’t mentioned this to him … 

“I explained it all, so she didn’t set it off again.” 

“She trod on a rope?” 

“Yeah. Then I showed her, and she said ‘how clever’ it all was.” Colm laughs. “I gave her quite a fright, an’ all.”

Perhaps she was too embarrassed to confess … But Kai can’t take that risk; he has to know.

“Well, d’you want me to tell her to join you here, or not?”

“Yes, send her out to me,” Kai says. “Then follow on a little after her, and wait for me to call.” He heaves a sigh. “And bring some rope.”

Colm chuckles, but Kai does not laugh with him.

~~

As Kai watches Colm disappear from view, he feels tears prickling his eyes: tears not of sorrow, but of rage. How could she do this to him?

If Goda has played him false, the gods must truly hate him.

But perhaps he’s wrong. It could have been innocent curiosity that brought her to this border of their village. But why would she have come this way?

Perhaps she was homesick; wanted to know if she could see her old home from the top of the ridge. Then why would she not have said …?

He waits: his hand upon his axe, his mind turning tormented circles, clinging to shards of hope – he waits.

At last, Goda appears. Her eyes glint in the torchlight.

Kai throws an arm about her waist, and pulls her to him, searching her face. “So … have you told him yet?”

She takes a little anxious breath. “Who? Told him what?” 

Now there’s ice-water running down Kai’s spine. “I think you know both whom, and what.”

Oh, Goda – tell me that I’m wrong. Convince me of your innocence, or else you are undone – and so am I. 

“Told Morcant – how our defences work. I know you were here, asking about them.”

“Morcant?” She widens her eyes. “Why would I tell him that? Why would he want to know?”

“Why would he try to have Arthur and me put to death?”

“He … made a mistake.” 

“Yes, he did.” Kai takes her chin in one hand; jerks her head up. “And so have you.”

She looks him in the eye. “No! Kai … I haven’t told him anything.” She glances left and right, as if afraid of being overheard. “Before I left my home, he asked me to spy on you, but I refused.”

She’s good, this one. He wants so badly to believe … “You bear no love or loyalty to Morcant?”

“None. I swear it.”

Could such beauty swear to him, and lie? 

“I love you, Kai.” 

Kai gives a bitter laugh. Hers is not the voice he has longed to hear speak those words, and yet, it makes him weak. “You love me?”

Goda gently touches his cheek. “Yes, of course.” She moulds herself to him.

Kai melts a little; stiffens a little, too. Can it be true? That he is loved? Even if it is not Arthur – still, it is love …

He kisses her full lips, letting his cock lead his heart along the path of hope.

She yields to him at first, but when he slips a hand inside her dress, she pushes him away.

“What’s the matter?” 

Goda plays with a stray lock of hair. “We … are not yet wed.”

Kai’s guts twist. She’s made a fool of him. “We were not wed the last time, either – traitorous slut.”

And now Kai sees Goda’s true face, full of contempt. He grips her by the wrists; she tries to bite his hand. He strikes her; knocks her to the ground. She wipes blood from her lip.

How will he look Arthur in the eye? How will he look the lowliest village idiot in the eye, after this day? He gambled his future on her, and he’s lost. They all have lost: he, Arthur, their whole village; Goda too.

He stands over her, and calls for Colm to bring the rope, and as Kai ties her hands, Goda spits in his face.

~~

The gate swings open. In the flickering torchlight, Arthur sees Kai and Goda pass the sentry post. His hackles rise. Kai’s meant to be on watch, not – 

But they aren’t hand in hand. Kai is dragging Goda behind him.

Arthur well knows he shouldn’t feel what he’s feeling – hope – but he can’t help himself.

Kai throws Goda down before him. “This woman has betrayed us. I don’t know her. Do with her as you will.”

“Betrayed us?” Arthur keeps his voice calm. “To whom?” 

“To that snake, Morcant.”

Arthur turns his back, and paces the longhouse, banishing the look of bitter triumph from his features before facing Kai again. “Are you certain?”

Goda lifts her chin. “It’s true. I’m not ashamed. Morcant is more of a man than either of you – Arthur, the coward that hides behind old men, and Kai, his Saxon fool.”

~~

Kai hangs his head. She’s played him from the start. And he’d thought he was using her … 

“You love him then.” Still, he can’t quite believe it. “You still love Morcant.”

“Yes. I love him.”

To have it from her lips … Kai sinks down on a bench and traces nonsense patterns on the table with his finger. He wishes he could sink into the floor. He wishes he were dead.

Everything … he’s lost everything; thrown it all away.

Arthur smiles coldly. “Tell us when the attack is planned.”

“Never!” Goda tosses her head. “Morcant trusts me, and him, I’ll not betray.”

“Tell us, or else – before we kill him – we will tell Morcant you betrayed him willingly.”

A shadow of despair touches her face.

~~

Kai strips himself of his wet things, and hangs them on a chair. Under Arthur’s silent scrutiny of his nakedness, he shivers: knowing that Arthur will never take him to his bed again. When Arthur passes him a cloth to dry himself, he stares at it, surprised, then accepts it with a tentative hand.

Their fingers do not touch.

Perhaps Arthur will show him mercy: let him keep his public place as right-hand man. Even that is far from certain. Kai has to find a way to prove himself: again.   
He feels his stomach churning. “Now Morcant’s dead, what about that witch, Goda? What would you have me do with her?”

Arthur looks pensive. “We can’t set her free. She knows our system, and her viper’s tongue might set our enemies upon us.”

Kai nods, and steels himself. “Then she must die. Let me –”

Arthur silences him with a raised hand. “Until I have decided, she will remain here, under guard.”

“Please, Arthur … I brought this enemy into our camp. Let me clean up my own mess.”

Arthur drops his gaze. “It was my mess too.” 

“Your mess?” Kai looks up. “How was it –?”

“I drove you to this, Kai. And I am … sorry.”

An apology, from Arthur? Kai just stands and stares. 

“I did this,” Arthur says. “Denying the truth. Denying you, and myself. Can you forgive me?” 

“Of course …” Kai is too shocked to offer more.

Arthur comes towards him, but Kai backs away. 

“I want you.” Arthur looks down at his clasped hands. “There ... I’ve said it.”

“You want me?” 

Can he believe it, this time? Arthur sounds far from sure; has changed his mind so many times before. And he said ‘want’, not ‘love.’ Perhaps ‘want’ will suffice ...

But then, some evil spirit spills its venom forth from Kai’s own tongue. “And what if I no longer want you? Love you?”

Arthur’s face falls. He seems to shrink. 

Not knowing how he finds the strength, Kai turns, and walks away.

~~

By the time Arthur has finished doing violence to trees, to slack sentries, and to bales of hay, a sullen dusk is falling.

Time for endings.

He fetches a shovel, and goes into the hut where, under guard – her hands bound, and tied to a post – Goda sits upon a bale of straw. 

“I’ll take over,” Arthur tells the sentry, Evan. 

“She tried to get me to –”

“Yes, I’m sure she did.” 

That makes it easier.

Evan glances at the shovel, then hurries off.

Goda sees it too. Resentment flashes in her eyes. 

That makes it easier still.

But then her expression softens. Of course it does – she wants to live. 

“There must be some reason you’re keeping me alive.” She bites her lip, lets her gown slip off one shoulder, and makes her eyes wide and vulnerable. “I know you’ve killed my Morcant. I suppose now, you’d like to have your way with me.”

Arthur feels his pulse quicken. “I wouldn’t sully myself.” 

Shaken, he turns away. She’s pleading for her life, the only way she knows. How can he do this thing? Kill an unarmed woman? Dare he so stain his immortal soul?

It’s not her fault Kai used her against him. But she abused Kai’s trust. Their sleeping village would have been slaughtered like lambs at Morcant’s sword. That was the choice she made, that led her to this end.

Someone must do it. And it should not be Kai.

When Arthur looks on her again, his heart is flint. He draws his knife.

Goda shrinks back against the wall, but Arthur won’t spare her any pity. She’s an enemy. And worse, in Arthur’s mind: she lured his Kai away.

He grabs a handful of her hair, and asks her, coldly, “Are you going to scream?”

“I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction. I intend to die with dignity.”

“Good.” Arthur sets the blade against her throat, but something stops him. He can’t do it here. No one would ever use this hut again. 

He sheathes the blade, unties the rope from round the post, and hauls Goda to her feet. “Follow.” He leads her out, and towards the woods, under the darkening skies.

She follows, silent; compliant, until they are among the trees.

Then the rope jerks from Arthur’s hands. Goda crashes through the undergrowth, fear giving her feet wings, and he pursues her through the darkling woods. Branches whip at his face, and logs try to trip him. As Goda gains ground, he forces himself on, faster, though it feels his lungs might burst.

Then Goda comes to a sudden stop, whimpering, and tugging frantically. The rope has tangled in a thorn bush, and she can’t pull free.

He’s got her.

Arthur draws his knife.

She flinches from the blade, but he just uses it to free the rope from the ensnaring branches, sheathes it once more, then yanks on the rope.

“Come on. I haven’t got all night.” 

She sets her feet wide on the ground, resisting.

“Will you follow me?” Arthur says sharply.

“Why should I?”

“I don’t want to kill you where everyone has to hear, but if I must, I shall. If you refuse to come, you’ll just die sooner.”

Goda searches his face; finding no quarter there, she casts down her eyes, and follows without another word.

~~

In a clearing about a mile from the village, there stands a single tree: an elm. This is the killing place; the place where traitors are brought to die – or were, in the old times. A place reluctantly kept clear, in case of need.

Arthur has never used it … not until tonight.

He leads his captive to the tree. “Now – kneel, and prepare yourself.”

“Make me.” 

Arthur stands before her, and tries to push her to the ground, but Goda won’t bend her knee. No lamb to the slaughter, this.

“Kneel, Woman.” 

“No. You.”

A sudden agony between his legs. Arthur yelps, and doubles over. Goda clubs him on the head with her bound hands. 

He falls, but through the pain, Arthur holds fast onto the rope, and as she tries to run, dragging him after her, he scrambles to his feet, and hauls her back towards him, till he can snatch a handful of her hair.

She squirms, leaving him with a fistful of brown locks.

With a strength borne of hatred, and of pain, Arthur yanks on the rope, and Goda lurches, hitting her head against the elm.

The rope goes slack. Before Goda can come round, Arthur knots the end around the trunk.

At last, he can afford to take a breath, and cup his aching balls. He looks down on Kai’s former bride-to-be, lying defenceless there; he raises his left foot, and draws it back. Then he stops himself. He makes a disgusted sound.

Goda regains her senses, sees him watching her, and struggles to her feet. She stands swaying a moment, then starts to heave and strain against the rope.

Arthur watches her efforts, and – when the pain in his groin subsides – he draws the knife once more, and stalks towards her.

Goda’s eyes flash wide. She runs from him; he follows, in no hurry, letting her run around the tree until the whole length of the rope is taken up. Then she is at the end.

She stands at bay, her back against the trunk. “Bastard!” she screams. “Bastard! Murdering bastard!”

Again, he grabs her hair, and drags her head back, baring her throat, but she goes limp, collapsing to the ground, still trying to escape her fate.

Arthur wrenches at her hair, and snarls, through clenched teeth, “Stay still, you stupid fucking bitch. I’ve _got_ to do this. If you fight me, it will hurt you more.”

“What do you care?” 

It’s hard – it’s very hard – to kill someone he hates as much as this, and kill her justly. Only his iron will is stopping him from first wreaking painful, bloody vengeance upon her.

“I don’t care,” he says, with cold honesty. “I’d prefer it if you struggled. Now, will you be still?”

She blanches, kneels, and tilts her head, exposing her white throat to his sharp blade. 

~~

He said he would not sully himself – but he has. Arthur burns with resentment: at Kai for thinking to leave him; at Goda for making him a slaughter-man, and at himself for bringing all this to pass. 

He props the shovel against the longhouse wall, and goes inside.

Kai stares at him.

He must look quite a sight: twigs and leaves in his hair, his face splattered with blood. “It’s done.”

“You …” 

Arthur slumps down into his chair. It seems too big; it seems to swallow him. He pushes hair out of his eyes, and feels something wet smearing across his forehead. Wearily, he says, “I dealt with Goda.”

He sits, staring at nothing – just what he sees in his mind’s eye: her body, lying in the grave he dug for her, one spadeful of dirt scattered on her azure dress.

He feels unclean. If only he had not hated her so much. If only he could have felt some sorrow, or some pity.

Kai snaps his fingers in front of Arthur’s face. “Traitors must die. It’s always been so.” He sets a mug of mead in front of Arthur. “You did what must be done.”

Arthur takes a drink. “I did what I’ve wanted to do, since the moment I knew you wanted _her_.”

Kai takes a deep breath. “Arthur …”

“And now, Kai, there is something I must say, and it is this.” Arthur pushes himself to his feet. “Goda is dead. But I’m still here. If you no longer want me, one of us must leave … and I may not.”

“Oh, Arthur …” Kai shakes his head. “How can you even think that I don’t want you? Did I not sacrifice Goda on the altar of my desire for you?”

“I was the one who held the knife.” 

“And for sparing me that … I thank you.” Kai touches Arthur’s cheek. “Did she die well?”

Arthur swallows. “At the end. But I …” He takes his bloody knife out of its sheath, and turns it over in his hand. “I have killed with hatred in my heart – hatred born, not from her betrayal, but from my jealousy.”

Kai takes the knife, and, on his shirt, he wipes it clean. He keeps his eyes on Arthur’s the whole time. Then he places the knife carefully on the table. “There. It’s over.” 

Over? As Kai takes a step forward, Arthur holds his breath. Is Kai coming towards him, or heading past him, to walk out the door? If he intends to leave, Arthur can’t watch him go. He closes his eyes; stands waiting, on a knife-edge.

Then Kai’s lips brush against his – soft, light touches. 

Their breath comes fast and shallow. 

Kai’s hands rest on Arthur’s waist, but barely touching, as if he dare not grasp him, lest Arthur slip through his fingers.

Arthur needs more. He grips Kai by the arms, and kisses him harder. Kai jerks back, and looks at him as though he fears him. Then they crash together, hands feverishly tearing at clothes, teeth bruising lips, and all the while such desperate sounds of haste, and need, and anguish –

“What the blazes –” Llud turns away. “Sorry. I thought I heard someone in pain.”

He goes back out, and shuts the door.

They look at one another, shame-faced. Kai jerks his head towards the sleeping chamber. Arthur nods; they hasten inside, and Arthur bars the door.

Time for a new beginning.

“I want you,” Arthur says. “Now, and forever.”

Kai closes his eyes, and sways a little on his feet, but doesn’t speak.

“I want you and …” Does he dare say it? It seems profanity, after what he’s just done, but if he doesn’t say it now, he never will. “I love you.”

Kai sits down on the bed, and stares at him.

Arthur swallows. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Kai nods dumbly.

“Then take your clothes off.”

Kai shivers.

“Now.”

Kai raises his chin, but still, he looks afraid, as if this all might be a dream. “You take them off me.”

And for a moment, Arthur can’t get his breath. Then he is across the room, fumbling with the lacing of Kai’s tunic, swearing, tearing, and pulling it free at last.

~~

Arthur pushes him down on the bed, stripping him of his breeches, and Kai’s so hard it hurts, but still, he can’t believe it; he needs proof.

He flexes his hips, and shoves his cock in Arthur’s face. “You say you want me? Show me. Suck me.” 

Arthur makes a little sound of outrage mingled with desire; his lips tremble; a look of submission steals across his face. He lowers his head, and – for the first time – takes Kai in his mouth.

Kai lets his head roll back. His eyes fall closed, as Arthur’s lips and tongue work upon him. Then he thrusts a little, and looks down, and sees Arthur’s dark head bent over him, paying him homage.

He comes, a cry wrenched from him by Arthur’s desperate, hasty mouthing of his prick.

Arthur flicks back his hair, swallows, and licks his lips. Holding Kai’s gaze, he reaches for the pot of grease that – ever in hope: so rarely satisfied – Kai keeps beneath the bed.

“My turn now,” Arthur says.

Kai grips Arthur’s wrist. “When I say it is.” He wonders when he grew a pair. “First, tell me again.”

“I love you,” Arthur whispers, like a prayer. He closes his eyes, and takes a few panting breaths, then looks up, fear plain on his face. “And you? You love me?”

Kai has told him so many times. Afraid there’s not enough to go around – that if he says it, Arthur will take it back – Kai now withholds it.

Arthur’s eyes fill with tears. “Tell me!” 

Kai lets his leg fall to the side. “Show me how much.” He waits, watching a bead of sweat trickling down Arthur’s forehead, through a smear of blood.

Arthur sees him looking, and wipes a hand across his face. He looks at his palms, and then his fingernails, all grimed with blood and earth. “I am not fit. I need to wash myself.”

“I want you as you are.” 

“I am unclean.”

“Not in my eyes.” 

Arthur lowers his gaze, and thrusts his trembling hand into the grease. He presses a fervent kiss on Kai’s right thigh, and works his hand down behind Kai’s balls.

Kai spreads himself, and watches the movement of Arthur’s forearm; he feels the sweat break out upon his brow, as Arthur breaches him.

“I love you, Kai. Please believe me.” Arthur doesn’t look up, just goes on preparing him, with exquisite care. “I know, I’ve been hard on you. I’ve no excuse … only my fear.”

“You were afraid?” Kai tilts Arthur’s face towards him. “Of me?”

“Of love.”

“You were afraid … to love a man?” Kai says, trying to understand. “A Saxon?”

“I was afraid to feel so much. Like, when I touch you here …”

Kai gasps; his back bends like a bow, and Arthur goes on caressing that tender place. 

“That’s how loving you feels – just thinking about you … I can hardly bear it, but I must bear it, or I will lose you.” Arthur takes his hand away. “And that is what I fear even more.” 

“Arthur … please …” 

“Tell me you want me.” Arthur tenderly strokes Kai’s entrance with his fingertips.

“I’ll want you till the stars fall from the skies – with my last breath.”

“Tell me you love me,” Arthur says, his dark eyes pleading.

“I love you. I have always loved you, and I always will.”

Arthur swarms up the bed, and crushes their mouths together. Then he pulls away. “Let us have no more talk of weddings.” 

~~

**Author's Note:**

> First archived here: 4 October 2011.  
> Revised: 24 October 2013  
> If you loved this TV series, please consider joining the [Arthur of the Britons Community](http://community.livejournal.com/arthur_britons/profile)


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